It isn't the same.

Apparently, my bestfriend, Mei-Mei did move to Kentucky -.- It just broke my heart to see her walk out that door on her last day of school. The second day without her here with me, just made me cry my eyes out. I just couldn't hold it all in. I didn't know that I would end up like this. I guess things happen for a reason. I just have to learn that people drift apart from eachother & I just have to face the fact that she's gone & learn how to move on. I just have to remember all those good times we had together in my heart because one day we will reunite & I would be looking forward to that<3 Things just aren't the same without her. I guess I'm trying to say is that she's my lucky charm. She encourages me towards what I'm going for. It just went all so fast. Where did it all go to? Those stupid fights we had? Or just having the time of our lives together? Just thinking about it makes it so hard to find the answer to. I mean what kind of friendship just has the good sides to it instead of the bad? Well, besides that I just wish that I could see her one more time & hang out with all of our friends <3 I just have to live my life without her & act like everything is alright.

End of Summer.

Summers almost over and I can honestly say that this is a Summer that I will never forget. I've had my bad times and my good, so that's what made my Summer unforgettable. So news so far is that my bestestesterest friend in the whole world is probably moving to Kentucky! I don't want her to move >_< She's the only person that could understand me, the one that's a sister to me, but most of all the one I could tell everything to. Hopefully she doesn't, that would just break my heart:( We've had so many good times together that I still remember. From the funny moments, stupid moments, & even the bad moments. Well, I'm gonna stop thinking about that, but registration is on Thursday, so hopefully I see her there & our moms could talk her out of moving :D OH & I'll be getting a haircut with my Ate Nikki on that day too:) but I don't know what kind D: Well it's getting late & I really need to catch up on my sleep, schools coming up! BYE BYE NIGHTY NIGHT!

Family.

Family is always there for you no matter what. But I guess it comes to a time where it just goes a bit too far. It gets so annoying. My parents have been going through the same problem over and over again. It's always about freaking money! I'm just so sick of it. Why can't we ever just be a normal family? If only just my dad could just change his attitude toward my moms side of the family, everything would just be perfectly fine. But no he just has to be selfish! Sure he's my dad and I'm supposed to love him because he brought me to this world, but I've just had enough of his childish acts. Everytime my moms side of the family needs money because somebodys sick, my dad doesn't even freaking care! and when it comes to his side of the family he's greedy and gets mad at my mom when she doesn't wanna give money for what he did to her. Do they think money grows on freaking trees here?! GOD, we work too don't you know that?! If you can't afford the money to go to that freaking field trip then don't bother asking for money. It's not like that trip was mandatory anyway, so why bother go? We earned that money and we deserved it. Maybe you guys should just start working hard as we do here. You guys are always depending on us for money! UGH, I just don't know what to do-_____-

Venting.

You know what I don't get? Why people just hate so much. It's so annoying! Why hate when you could just tell the person what your problem you have with them. I mean like my cousin just called me what 3 in the morning last night just to say how bitchy my favorite cousin was. She said that just cause she said we were gonna use her as bait she took it personally. Does she have any humor in her? I guess not since she took it the wrong way-____- Just cause my favorite cousin told her off about her freaking boyfriend that lives freaking one thousand miles away from her! I mean now seriously that's pathetic. If your willing to have a relationship at least have a real one not a freaking long distance. She expects me to keep my mouth shut about it to her mom. Pft, her mom has other people watching her doesn't she know that? I mean my mom told me that her mother is all suspicious about it already. Just watch once she finds out about it I will freaking laugh, I am not even kidding. She just blames my favorite cousin about everything just because she has this amazing boyfriend and she has a stupid and flirty one. It's not her fault that she ACTUALLY chose the right one that actually loves her for who she is. Now she's saying all this crap about her like 'Oh I'm not gonna call her ate anymore pft she's a bitch.' Come on your freaking 11 years old! And your already cussing more than I am. I know I'm young to actually cuss too, but look at you, your calling people dumbasses, bitches , assholes, and shitheads. How do you look at yourself in the mirror? What kind of friends do you hang out with? Your suppose to set a good example to others and here you are acting like a like a freaking hoe! I don't care if you even read this because you need to see and hear how your acting. Come on now she's our cousin! Why are you talking behind her back? Once you see her your all nice, what's up with that? Your just being a two faced jerk! I think that's the only reason why you can't even get a boyfriend in real life. There I said it! I know that's cold. But look at yourself, you've changed. If you just change your attitude toward others and stop treating them like crap maybe you'll get nice friends. I mean I remember you telling me 'Theresa you have alot of nice friends' Yeah I have alot of nice friends because I choose the right one. I've heard things about you alot. You think the things your friends do is right, but its wrong! I know that you know better than this. How could you stoop that low to do bad things? What happened to the good cousin I know. I want her back. I mean now I don't even know who you are? I don't like the new one. Your always moody and you yell alot about stupid things. You don't even have manners. You always freaking boss my little brother around. Who do you think you are? Your the laziest person I know I swear. I don't even know what to do with you. I'm done with you. I'm sick and tired of dealing with your crap. I try and give you advice on what to do to make your life better, but you don't even take it. Fine, if you don't wanna take it, don't ask me for anything anymore. I'm sick of it. I'm done with you. There I said it. So go out there and be free and do whatever you want to. Do you think that's gonna make you into a better person? Pft, get a life.

Last Day Of School June 12, 2009

So, today was the last day of school until the new school year. Lots of hugs, but most of all tears. This year went by so fast! Where did this all go? We spent all our time arguing over these stupid things when we should be making memories that will last forever. I've always wondered why in elementary school we didn't act this way and now we start to cry when it gets to the last day of school when we used to smile and have that big fat smile on faces. I just can't believe that I actually regretted for Summer to come, I thought that I was looking forward to it, but then when I realized that I would be missing all my friends a lot, I thought that school couldn't just end like that. All my friends I made this year, they could be drifting apart from me like what always happens in new school years. I just hate that. I just want my old friends to stay as my friends. Even though that there was drama now and then, but other than that my 1st year at Bella Vista was the best year yet. It wasn't the way I would imagine it, all my friends are one of a kind and all my teachers were awesome. Seeing myself walk out that door when school ended, I felt like crying my eyes out. Friends moving and friends moving on to high school. Missing those hugs from the people I love and miss, I have to wait for 2 months for those hugs. I just can't wait that long. I guess I pretty much loved school. Having the most unforgettable memories with friends is so enjoying. It's just unbelievable that I survived the sixth grade. I just hope that Summer goes by fast because I will be missing friends like crazy. Just one thought came in mind that always haunts my mind everytime I think of all the memories I had in sixth grade, why did my friends and I have to fight over things when we could have been reministing about the good things? Couldn't we have thought twice about what we were fighting about?

1st Year At Bella Vista<3

My first year at Bella Vista was the best year yet. I know that there was drama at first, but I got through the year with a good ending. There are so much that I'm going to miss. The laughs, memories, but most of all the new people I've met are all going. That's going to be the hard part to let go next school year. It's like a puzzle piece is lost and nothing else in the world can never replace that piece. Having them as friends was a good advantage for surviving the 6th grade because they would always tell me what to do when I would always get stuck in situations. I know that sooner or later I would have to learn how to let go of it, but it's not as easy as it looks. Having to spend so much time with them and making so many memories it's all so hard to just 'forget' because moments like these shouldn't just me forgotten they should be remembered. The worst part is that when I go to high school, most of them would be in different schools, which is the part I hate the most about it. Why does it have to end up like this? I don't want to loose friends I cared about. It happened to me once, I don't want to make that a second .They were in my life and I know that they were meant to be in it. I guess I do have to face the fact that 'everything happens for a reason' and that 'friends come and go'. There would be another time where this would happen and I guess I would have to be strong and face the fact that I guess it wasn't meant to be. The thing I hate about it is that I've shedded enough tears for them, but the tears that come down just won't bring them back. I guess that even though they're gone, there will always be a spot in my heart for them, so I wouldn't have to forget them. I just wish if they could just stay here, but that's not gonna happen. I just have to learn to let go and move on.

Mei-Mei Mijares

Dang girl our friendship has been strong ever since the first grade! As best friends I think that we pretty much look alike! That isn't a bad thing right? I mean like everyone gets mixed up with us. Anyways, Mei-Mei's my best friend and nobodies, she's ALL mine. Not kidding. I bet you that you don't know her as much as I do. Ha ha, yeah I thought so. Just kidding. Dang so many memories we had together! Remember 'Interesting, yes very interesting' If you don't get it then your slow. Just kidding. By the way, that's Me and Mei-Mei's insider. So, even though we've had a lot of good memories your probably thinking that we've hadn't had any bad right? Well we had some bad ones, but we forgave and forgot, which was the right thing to do. We won't let one stupid thing get in the way of our friendship. Throughout the years we've been into these situations where we needed help and we were there for each other through thick and thin. I know that she will always have my back and never let me fall like what used to happen to me. I can always count on her no matter what and she can count on me. A girl like her is someone I could never let down for all the things she has done for me. There wasn't a day in my life where I could remember when she has ever let me down and that's what I love about her. Even though she can get a little annoying, I still love her. I mean I do admit that I could get annoying too, but she still loves me. The little things she does to make me happy are the things that make her HER. I don't know what kind of person would ever talk behind her back because she is such an amazing girl that I could never get mad at her for more than a day. Without her, I think my life would be a mess. Even though this year wasn't what I expected it to be, she somehow made it way better. I know that we have different classes and other friends now, but she will always be in my heart and I will never forget her. A best friend like Mei-Mei should never be forgotten or ever be replaced with. She is such a true friend: she's there for me when no body else was, she likes me for who I am, she puts up with my crap, but most of all she NEVER replaces me with somebody else and I know that's fact. I'm lucky that I have her as MY best friend. The most special thing about her is that she doesn't talk behind my back, even though I do something wrong to her or to someone else, she still doesn't talk behind me. Now, that's what I call a best friend and a true friend. I mean like I do the most stupid things and she still loves me no matter what and it still doesn't bother her. I mean jealousy won't get in the way when it comes to us. Overall, Mei-Mei is the best person in my world and she will always be my best friend and if you decide to hate on her or whatever, I will be your worst nightmare, no lie, I don't like seeing Mei-Mei sad. So, Mei-Mei I love you forever and ever for all eternity.

Please stay.

It's been far too long I've been trying to hold my feelings. We had a friendship like no other. We never fought over something stupid. We never argued. We just laughed and enjoyed life. Your special in mines and you said I was to yours. You kept me really happy when nothing else did. You were the answer to my problems. Every time I would feel really sad I see you and that changes everything. When I feel like I just need a good laugh to last through the whole day I would always call you and you would always make me feel better. We were close than anybody. As days went on, we stopped talking and spending time with each other. I thought that you just forgot about me just like that. I would always call you just to see what's up, but you never answer anymore. Was it something I did to make you ignore me like that? Every time I would try to sleep, I would think about what I did wrong. The times we spent together were unforgettable and now that's about to change. I just think that you really have forgotten about me. I know I've said this millions of times before, but now I think that it's for real. It's just hard for me to let go of you. You made me really happy. You took all my stress away. I try to forget you, but everything just reminds me of you. It's hard for me to just move on after what we did together that was special to me. It's like you were meant to stay in my life, but I guess I wasn't meant to be or welcomed in yours. It's just so hard to let you go like that because the more I think about you the more memories I remember so much about you and thinking about what could have been. Letting someone special and important in my life is just hard, but I guess you managed to move on without me. I always thought of you as my best friend, but now that's about to change. What bothers me the most is why does it have to be you that goes out of my life? Why can't you just stay in it?

Giving up .

It's happened to me multiple times, the one being broken up with. I'm tired of my heart being the only one that's hurt in the situation and having to wait weeks for it to heal. You don't know how many times I've been through this. At first, I get all happy, but then sooner or later I get sad and depressed. I hate going through that stage. I just wish that I could go back and fix what I did wrong. Every time I would vent to my best friend, Riana, she would always tell me that I should never give up on love. But, it's just hard for me to see myself like I was before. I'm afraid to get hurt again. A heart like mines, can't take anymore of this. All I want is someone I could be together with that won't waste my time. Someone that would like me for who I am. Someone that could actually say 'I Love You' and ACTUALLY mean it. Someone that could be my everything. The only thing I'm afraid of is to get hurt again. I know giving up like that isn't right, but if you were me in these situations I get, you would feel the same way as I do right now. I've been through so much, falling in like, crushing, and getting broken up with. The tears can't help, but fall every time I would try to stop them. I just wish that all of this would just stop. I've been thinking that I guess my parents were right. When you do fall in love or like in such an early age, you eventually do get hurt. And that I learned that I have to be patient when it DOES come to liking someone or loving someone. I have to make sure that it's the right person that I'm looking for or else.

My Special Friend<3

Michael Elgincolin, my special friend, we go way back when we first met, last year on September 23. We met on myspace! Yeah, I know pretty strange to meet somebody, but once we got to know each other we got closer each time. It all started when he invited me to webcam with him on yahoo messenger. It was really fun, it was my first time, so I was kind of shy. When we started webcamming, I was at the corner of the screen, haha and then he started copying me. Once we got to webcamming more often, we've had moments where we would laugh hysterically and never stop. Then it came to talking on the phone, those were unforgettable memories. Every time I would call him, we would tell each other these hilarious stories and laugh our butts off. The funniest thing that made us laugh non-stop was that we were talking in Filipino like 'ay nako ang bata to'. Good times, good times. Michael, when I first met you I thought you were a weird person, but once I got to know you better I realized you had a heart like no other. You care about me when I don't act like my usual self and most of all you make me laugh and smile when nothing else did and that's what I love about you. Hearing that song when we first met 'Starlit Nights' reminds me of you alot and makes me think of all the things we did together. But, I miss those fun times we use to have. Lately, we haven't been talking to each other any more. What happened? It's been like 4 months that we haven't spoken to one another. Last time we talked was on January and then after that it was like we haven't even met. So far our friendship has been drifting apart and I don't want that to happen. I know that we live at different places, but that doesn't mean we could forget about each other just like that right? All I want is to have those special times we used to have before. What I'm trying to say is that I miss you Michael. I miss your laughs, your voice, but most of all I miss you.

Lifes complicated.

I've been liking my life so far. Great friends, good education, and a good family. The parties my parents gave me were very unforgettable. My life is basically like a roller coaster though. I have my ups and downs with people especially with my parents, but most of all I screw up and try to fix what I did wrong. This time I don't even know what I even did wrong. For some reason, I would always think it's all my fault that my parents fight. That it's all my fault why my friends and I fight. The things I said about my friends, education, and my good family, you would think my life was amazing, but think again. I may like the way I live my life, but once I get through these tough obstacles, it gets difficult. Just like family problems, friend problems, and stressed about school. It's all so hard to forget about, way back when I was 6 years old, I still remember those stupid fights my parents went through, I was just sitting there watching them argue, and just cry and cry. And now facing this problem my parents are having to the most stupidest thing yet, is another thing to stress about. Can't they just stop fighting for the sake of their children? It's almost their anniversary and their acting this way. I'm sick and tired of this, all I want is to be a normal kid living a normal life. Is that too much to ask for?

Little Jaydan<3

My little annoying brother. Haha, so it's been almost 7 years and your birthday party is this Saturday. His real birthday is on May 25, but we're celebrating it a little bit early. Anyways, Jaydan, yeah he can be a handful, but I have quite some fun time when I hang with him. You know what they say "Good things come in small packages". He knows more than he should though, but that's not a bad thing right ? Boy, he's growing up faster than I thought, last time I remembered was that I was teaching him how to say his first word, and now he's almost going to 2nd grade ! That is going way to fast because at first I thought he was staying my baby brother forever, but I thought wrong. What I'm trying to say is that well, I care about him a lot, I may not treat him the way I should, but I really do care, it's just the little things he does that irritates me. Other than that, I hope Jaydan has all his wishes come true on his birthday, and may God bless him with as many blessings as he could give him. I know that I don't show it as much, but Jaydan was actually the best thing that did happen in my life, somehow he just made it more interesting as it came by. He made me learn new things everyday. The best thing was is that he taught me that life wasn't perfect. I know, "How can a little 7 year old teach you something?", It's just that, from all the fights we've had towards each other, that's when I realized those new and important things in life. Basically, I guess I love my little brother Jaydan, and all the good things he has done for me.
HAPPY 7TH BIRTHDAY JAYDAN!

Mei-Mei Mijares and Riana Youngken <3

You guys boy, our friendship has been strong ever since. All the memories we had together were so unforgettable. Sometimes I would wish if we could go back and relive those moments. From playing tag, hide-and-go-seek, and telling each other secrets, we spent every minute with one another. I know we've had those stupid fights over something really nonsense, but we worked it out right, which is way better than forgetting about each other and moving on. A friendship like ours should never be split apart because God knew that we were meant to be sisters and best friends that's why he chose us. He thought we couldn't handle the relationship we had with one another, but we showed him that we could actually handle it the right way. I just wish that we could have those fun times together once more and make it a good one. You both are one of a kind and no one could ever replace you guys, your special in my life. I know that ever since middle school started, our friendship has been drifting apart lately. And it seems like we're not close as we were in the past. I get that we met new people, but we should never forget us. Other than that, I really appreciate you guys helping me out with everything, seeing my side of the story when I had problems with other people, but most of all being there for me when nobody else was. I love you Mei-Mei and Riana ! <3>

Everything Happens For a Reason

I've been thinking a lot about what has been missing this whole time. I finally figured out what it was. It didn't feel the same without my buddy anymore. I know that I used to like him and we went out for a little while. But after that we became really good friends. People ask me if I really do still have feelings for him, but I always say no, when really I still do. After the whole break-up drama thing ended, we started hanging out, slapping eachother for fun, and those hand games, I actually had fun with him. But once I heard that he was moving, it just broke my heart to actually hear it. I know that we were just friends and all, but out of all of the guys I actually went out with, he was the best out of them all. He made me feel real happy when nothing did. He made me feel what like like really was. But most of all he liked me for me. I know that he's not the person I can look up to, but I didn't really care what other people thought about it, all I cared about was that I was right there next to him.

We Could Be Friends

You turned my sky from gray to blue,
Whether you believe or not, it's true.
Recently, I found out something new.
All that hope, made it hard to pursue.
I thought that I was the perfect one for you.
We talked on the phone today,You, me, our convos in every other way.
You talked about your ex girlfriend,& how you really loved her.
It broke my heart, even though it was sort of a blur.
I hoped you'd forget about all of that,and look at what's real, what's there, & what's fact.
Do you not see the person in front of you,
The one who's been loving you?
The one who would do anything just to be yours.
The one who would even do your chores.
The one who tried her hardest to impress,
The one who took away all of your stress.
Are you blind, or are you just denying it?Was this all a joke, or even a skit?You used to consider me as your friend,
& how everything you did was pretend.
I'm not mad @ you, I'm really not,I'm just sitting here all caught up.
You told me straight up in some sort of way,That you've moved on, not recently, not yesterday.
Why couldn't you just tell me?Why did you have to waste my time?But honestly, I don't regret anything,'Cause in the end, I feel just fine.
Even though I'm crushed & I really do want you,
I can't control your life, & what you wanna do.
So I'll set you free, you & your life,& help you through the worst,In the day & in the night.
I'll be your friend, best friend, anything you want.
As long as I'm close to you, the past will never taunt.

It Hurt me

Your all I think about everyday,
Just you no one else what more is there to say.
I always dreamt of holding hands with you on that beautiful bay.
But once I knew you weren't the one,
It broke my heart, but i guess that's how you want it done.
The times we had together was unforgettably fun,
I just can't believe that you couldn't see
Why didn't you ever believe in me?
What we had was special you see,
The way we bonded was memorable,
Why couldn't you let this be?
You got me thinking every day,
Why did you want it to end this way?

That One Person

I just wonder why me ? Why was I made in this world ? What was I made to do here ? I just wonder why. All these things that happen to me is just painful for me. People tell me that its not a big deal , but it just is to me. All i'm trying to say is that for the past couple of weeks, it's been hard for me to move on. I know that i DON'T show it, but inside it's just killing me. I think about it day and night what could have been. I try to talk about it with friends, but they all say the same thing 'Theresa "asdfjkl;" is too good for you just move on, theres better people out there' but i guess i can't move on for the fact that I really did fall really hard, for the wrong person too. I call names, but thats just being immature and that just doesn't solve the problem. All I want is someone I could actually like like, NOT love, but just like. That's enough for me. But all they've been given me was crap, just plain crap. Not even a good reason why. When it happened to me, that one day, I practically learned my lesson. Not to fall hard for someone i'm not that sure of. Taking it slow. I guess it was kind of my fault for taking it too fast, but I couldn't help it. And this is what I got. So, now i learned from my mistake.